Hi, my name is Roy, and I am a blondeaholic. There is no doubt I am in my blonde phase. I freely admit that I am drawn to flaxen hair and its accompanying pale skin and hazel or blue eyes. Over 95% of the women I have been in a relationship with or even dated have been blonde. Some people would call it an obsession. Some would possibly say that I am sellout, a contemptible denier of my own race. Fortunately, you really cannot say that I didn’t try, as I had two marriages to Filipinas which ultimately ended in divorce. Admittedly, a big contributor to the blonde phase.
This may contradict the psychotherapist view that I have mother issues because my mom was neither blonde or blue eyed. However, it may reveal some nebulous childhood memory which I cannot recall or perhaps a fetish from a previous life. Whatever…..it is what it is. No need to explain it, as it works for me. Or does it?
Looking back at my dating history, I have had my heart broken by several women of the blonde persuasion. And every time, I pick myself back up and end up like the old Jeffrey Osborne song: “Back in Love Again.” One would think that I would end the torture, and find some subservient Asian chick…..if there is even such a thing. But, obviously, I digress.
As much as I admit to my blonde phase, I have no desire to work towards sobriety. I do believe in a higher power that can restore my sanity, but sanity will have to include finding the right blonde to be my soulmate. Fortunately, I wholeheartedly believe that has happened. The right blonde, the woman of my dreams, has finally come into my life. I am in a relationship for all the right reasons with someone who luckily happens to be blonde. So, screw all of the analytical BS. I like my blonde phase and it is finally working.